|
WALL OF WORDS
Shortland Street shivers in summer cold -
the wind rattles
bouncing off mirroring windows.
At Chum Eade's a haircut's cheap. Eyebrows inclusive.
Sanchez butters the best at his
sandwich bar in the Chancery. Vitamin C
squirts from Nell's Fruit Juice Fingers Shop.
A wall of words rises above my head
and out of sight
chopped off quotes exaggerations
corny aphorisms to live or die by.
Finally I'm on the front page
instead of the All Blacks says
one. We've
knocked the bugger off reads
another.
Sophisticated graffiti
extolled in marble for those
who want to
stop and look
jab in their verbal fix for the day. If I
pause long enough I extract what I can
from what is meant. Lawyer councillor
Tae Kwon Do Blackbelter steps up seizes the moment
takes a breath. Enter the bride-to-be
of a senior partner and Sunday golfer
who swivels about at his desk
high above the earth. A meteorologist too
she says... He knows what's going to happen
before it happens. She
crosses to a precipice
of engineered glass
takes the escalator up. Large portraits
of light hang opaquely above her as she vanishes
into a firmament of white fluorescence.
THE STAINLESS STEEL CAFETERIA
Don't try and interpret the American meaning of what I can do for my country
while I've seen the animal in me go out on a hot summer's day and feed on
fresh grass.
I followed him through dense city streets which could've been any urban area
any
Sodom sur la Mer any place carnal would've sufficed or it could've been just
where the ladies on Hunter's Corner hang out
all looking like the girl I knew after my first glass of testosterone
cardboard cutouts of her leaning against shop windows
in doorways in alleys backs bared to the scars on shabby brick walls
beautiful cutouts of adolescent voluptuary. I went with him
as far as the town's boundary and let his sense of wildness run uninhibited
with the wind of the day - a Haast eagle the size of a horse
shadowed his new-found ecstasy - an eagle with talons raking close to the
treetops to
the rising smell of his blood. I can do what I want for my country I've
decided.
I've this borderless nihilistic wanderlust to cross horizons in giant leaps
to create lakes with my footprints to level mountains with sleepovers to swim
in
territorial waters and clean up fish stocks with my baleen wallowings. I can
move the moon as if it were a ping pong ball spin it around cover it with a
fist put it in my mouth
hang it out to orbit dripping with my spit. In my country of cows defecating
paths for themselves to follow and re-follow I regularly enter the
organ-grinding
movements of hills where gullies fold inwards bushes cluster where lovers
overflow flash floods begin boulders are born. I enter into a headlong
confrontation against picnicking families of christ-like people
spread out on clean-white rugs best silverware best wine freshest bread best
children
shinier than apples bibles open to the anthropomorphic smiling sun. Some
graves nearby
unwrapped like parcels from their concrete and clay appear to be waiting for
holy light to
drop in for the lucky few to go wherever they're going to breed more of
themselves to
take to the air like a 'saved from extinction' flock of flying antediluvians
belting leather appendages across an ethereal gap forced open in the sky.
They
appear to be waiting for something like that or that or that moment when
sleep
is primordial a death wish in the hope of waking up in a clinically stainless
steel cafeteria
where the lobotomised owner is freely dolloping out double-coned ice creams
to once
suffering children. I can do many things for my country when I'm in the mood
when
the right music is being played the animal is under control and happily
tucked within me and
I've got a greater understanding of my tenses like here and now. I've this
peculiar penchant for cutting out paper people for linking them up and
decorating - no
wallpapering my study each week afresh with new faces each clearly different
coloured in some hatted others bald or hairy or spiked some are black-skinned
brown-skinned
green and yellow hunched humped bandy albino and red-eyed. Others
I've run out of ideas of doing anything with and are lazily tacked like plain
festive cards
across the room. For my country I tear them all down on a Friday and feed
them to the garbage
for the city's dump. I don't exercise enough. I go for a drive across borders
ignoring white dotted
lines signposts in different languages men lurking somewhere inside large
uniforms. I melt
through barriers go from road to road to thinning road exercising my right of
diplomatic
invisibility. All I can see at this time is the shadow of my car. There is
nothing more to be seen.
THE SEAMLESS HOURS
Day begins in darkness
before the
seepage of light before
the first yellowy fingers
grip the jagged line of mountains and heave.
I lift my body briefly above sleep. A
night bird clicks its beak
chuckles crazily to a phantom's dance and
the wind shuffles in.
I roll over and talk to a dream-eaten face and she
talks back
then we sleep my arms
wrapped around where she should be
holding smooth curves the smooth skin the
rise and fall of a striated illusion.
Ears burn. I hear the
clatter of footsteps
voices in polyphonic discord vehicles
heating up the winter the rustle of a woman in my bedroom
dressing
washing
brushing her hair talking to herself or
is it to the man who sits on the bed watching? She
kisses me and I bruise easily from each touch of her lips.
I hesitate as if
juggling thoughts. I take her on a tour
amongst walls the bricks and mortar
of my home down long passageways through
rooms furnished unfurnished. We go
between ceilings then follow the shapes
of storeys of floors and descend steps into
the warm dark
the narrow dark
the long dark
our eyes clutching at objects
the infinite going down
and then we stop
to ascend the staircase of the tower -
a half hour's climb and I don't know
if I'll be at the top to
greet her or if she'll reach the 600th step alone
where God's open mouth
salivates
in the sepulchre
of his cloud. We
enter a farmer's kitchen and the sky
thunders and releases a few reminders that outside there are
no certainties of immortality no guaranteed places on tall
sculptured columns. The kitchen
smells of flour and dough hot scones and bread.
There's a fire an oven the smell of wheatfields
of crops and harvests and ploughs haybales
and cut summer grasses. There's
beer and wine and the hot stink of youthful mayhem and walls
waxed with age
cooked and blackened and hard like granite.
Further in I
show her the Chapel of the Paraparaumu Virgin
Mary the Mother Mary of the Roses Mary of the Purple Pussy Cat
down the road. She stands where she's stood for years
painted like a Barbie glossy unchipped and glowing. We
can't help but walk (as softly as) over the packed-in relics
under our feet - the Rons and Williams Nancys and Jacks. I
know them intimately - they continue to follow me all the days
of my life - being screwed in isn't permanent enough.
In my bedroom she watches the man
taking off his clothes
washing
brushing his teeth. She
feels my hands dip into her body
as if into a river and she grips me tightly. With
this discovery
she assures me I've gone too far.
'AT A PRIVATE VIEWING...'
The sliding glass doors
announce our arrival and heads on warm-collared necks
turn dilated brown eyes at our interruption of a woman's speech and they pin
us
to the floor firing tacks. We don't move. Bright fluorescent tubes
x-ray us through and through. We're not family. Our features are too sharp
too
Caucasian our profiles distinctly white and pointed with freckles moles
body hair vowels rounded. The family are dark
getting darker the darkest standing in corners. The woman's chanting
as if to a river as if to clouds passing over its surface to trees growing
from the pictures of water. Wrong place. Wrong time. We stand incongruously
intruders in glass - obtrusive spectators amongst a family celebrating its
mother - and
her gift for oratory for making bits and pieces live within them for creating
histories. She's
surrounded admired. She has written her name in earth
glazed it with muddy fingers - and like some obese fertility incarnation
she comes over and puts her hands around mine
holds them and her warm fatness unfolds then folds over me
sucking in my air and something is lost is taken from me is stolen
irretrievably
manipulated into one of her creases. Above us through glass
lightning speaks in many languages.
© Iain Britton 2005
|